dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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