Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
