Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
