ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
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