If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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