just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
