so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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