I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
In America we eat man semen.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Green mimosas i think yes
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
