Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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