I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
