Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
