I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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