we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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