Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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