You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
