The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
