Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
