Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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