I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Send help, water and tortillas.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
