Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Randomize
