i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
