i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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