Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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