its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
