dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
