you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
