I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
