I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
