Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
