One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
