Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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