you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
