Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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