remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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