Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
