the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
