shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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