Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
