I need help removing her.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize