Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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