it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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