ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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