I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
