1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
