Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
