The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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