Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
