What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
