woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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