Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I want a musical about memes.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
